you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
