I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
