I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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