i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
