:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
