she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
