I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
