If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
We need a shit load of segways right now
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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