I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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