whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's blow job season.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
