I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
