I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
