Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
