So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
