That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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