I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
