He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
