All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
