$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize