This is not my ceiling
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Randomize