The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize