Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
