We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
sex in a hospital.. check
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
