Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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