I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
