He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
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