Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
