That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
