i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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