Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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