you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
We left the knife in your bed.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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