these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
