At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize