Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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