what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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