I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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