Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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