Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Bring me that man meat
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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