Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
