Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
