Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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