On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
