now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
