Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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