Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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