My room smells like vodka and shame
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
