My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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