i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
