Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
do nipples grow back?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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