Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My Sexting was not on an AP level
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
