Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
