What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
