and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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