Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Quick, to the slutcave!
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
