its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I take back everything I said about communal showers
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
