craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
