I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
