Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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