i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize