Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
