He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
