and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
