You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
