took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
3pm strippers are depressing
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize