Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
