i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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